At last I’d found the perfect new home after weeks of searching and it ticked all the boxes!
The thing was, it would cost every dollar we had and more, and my joy in finding it was causing my long-suffering husband to experience horrific stress with the thought that we would be forever chasing our tails in financial hardship.
Tension was escalating between us, as circumstances dictated that a decision had to be made, and that very weekend!
We’re often quick to take sides with the couples on The Block and Selling Houses as they experience just such pressure. Tension, disagreements, competition and division seem inevitable as the stress levels increase.
Diverging for a moment, it’s interesting to note that 80% of visits to the doctor are believed to be stress-related.
Even alternative health practitioners like Deepak Chopra agree. He hit the nail on the head when he wrote, “… what is “stress” if not fear, anxiety and worry dressed up in more socially acceptable clothing?” and rather than a badge of honour, “being “stressed out” is just the code word for being really, really scared.”
It’s freeing to see stress and pressure for what they really are – fear. And the recognition makes it much easier to step back from the argument with our partner, competitor or boss, no matter what the disagreement.
There’s good news in that today’s emphasis on talking things through, joint solution-based decision-making, and the realisation that verbal, emotional and physical abuse are not OK, are going along way to de-stressing communications.
The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare recently published its very positive health report, Australia’s Health 2014: In Brief.
And it contains some great news. Life-expectancy for Australians has soared, while rates of stress-induced cancers, stroke and heart attacks are falling. Death rates from injury caused by accident, drowning, suicide and homicide continue to fall, too.
While there is agreement that accessibility to and improvements in medical achievements are a major contributor to the good government health report, health practitioners and psychologists are adding their support to another recognition – that kindness, forgiveness and gratitude are crucial to de-stressing both minds and bodies.
But do you have to be stressed out at all?
Many who identify with a Biblically-supported acknowledgement that we don’t live in a big extraneous world buffeted by the vagaries of chance find this view offers incredible serenity.
Whether you are religious or not, kindness, forgiveness and appreciation are universal divine qualities that we can all adopt.
Who knows? In time, we may find that “… unselfishness, goodness, mercy, justice, health, holiness, love — the kingdom of heaven — reign within us…” so much that diseases diminish until they finally disappear (Mary Baker Eddy).
So, what happened about our new home?
I found that I needed to put aside my personal agenda and start viewing the situation from a spiritual perspective. Mentally letting go of that house and just being open to a love-based solution that would benefit us both, I waited.
Checking my emails over breakfast, I was surprised and excited that a new home had come on the market that day in the right area and which was more in the vicinity of our budget. Could it be ‘the one’?
The agent was able to meet us there within the hour. It didn’t tick all my arbitrary boxes, but changes and additions could be made, and it had a great feel. We were both moved – as if we had one mind – to decide there and then to purchase it. I was in awe of the power of patience and kindness.
I can vouch that happiness and success increases in a kinder-hearted society, and there is evidence to suggest that health is increasing too.